This evening I listened to a wonderful piece of traditional American music, "Calling My Children Home, recorded by the True Life Trio, three women who sang with Kitka. A few short weeks ago, two days after the Newtown massacre, the trio sang this live at our pre-performance Revels circle, as we were all struggling with how to understand the horror of the event. Hearing their sweet voices sing those lyrics brought almost all 60 members of the cast to tears, releasing the sorrow and anguish we had felt in the midst of working hard to present what needed to be a joyous series of performances. It was a moment I will never forget, when music expresses what words alone cannot. When I listened to the piece again this evening, with my daughter, her best friend and my husband, we cried. It all came back, the sadness, the anger, the desire to do something, the hope that somehow the parents and families of those children and their teachers will find a way to heal. But this time at the end, as their voices sang into the quietness: I'm lonesome for my precious children they live so far away oh, maybe hear my callin', callin', callin', and come back home someday. I thought about Gabrielle Giffords and Mark Kelly, bravely standing up for doing the right thing, creating a new organization to channel all that "we need to do something" energy into specific, practical action, and feeling grateful for their bravery and drive. And thinking that maybe there is a way to stop the terror of guns killing innocent people. And the tears of sadness will become tears of relief. Just listen: http://www.truelifetrio.com/listen/

Four Weeks Until She Leaves for College

And I think I'm already grieving. My daughter Madeleine starts at Wellesley College on the 25th of August, less than four weeks from now. She just returned from visiting friends in Paris and London - she's travelled to Paris several times and is fluent in French - but this was her first time travelling without an adult (parents or teachers) to intervene when the inevitable travel problems arose. I think I can say I've trained her well and she is confident in herself, because she dealt with various delays and cancellations with competence and maturity. She also had a great time on this well-deserved trip. And my husband Barney and I enjoyed ourselves, doing some things we have not done in a while, trying out new ventures like the Fire Arts Festival at the Crucible in Oakland, new restaurants, sailing in the tall ships parade, and more. I'm beginning to glimpse what it was like years ago before Madeleine was born... something we'll be learning a lot more about in the years to come. It's interesting how when a child has been such a big part of your life for 18 years, it is hard to imagine what it will be like when she is not there (almost) every day, enjoying the laughter and silly moments as well as the emotion and challenges. I'm sure there will be some serious feelings of emptiness - somehow I really dislike the phrase empty nest - feelings that as a young parent I could not have possibly imagined. Barney and I are incredibly proud of her and are confident she will do well as she launches into this new phase of her life. It does make me recall what it was like in those breathless early days of young adulthood when everything seemed new and possible ... and the possibilities are much greater for her than they were for me in 1974. So I will try to revel in her excitement and new achievements, allow myself to miss her loving companionship and sparkling personality, and hope that the love and guidance we gave her growing up will be a strong support in the exciting years ahead.